Our Miscarriage Experience

This miscarriage experience post is part of a paid sponsorship by Ferring Pharmaceuticals. All opinions are my own.

Well, to be honest, I never really thought I would be sharing this post. It is in the past and I did get my rainbow baby afterall. I also don't feel like my struggle even compares to some others that I've heard. However, after briefly mentioning my miscarriage in this post I did get a few messages thanking me for sharing. So since then, I've felt compelled to share my full miscarriage experience and story. It's true that not sharing my story, isn't really doing anyone any favors, it's just continuing to isolate those going through this struggle. My hope is that my story encourages someone to continue trying, seek help from the right doctors, and not lose hope.

OUR MISCARRIAGE EXPERIENCE

So after much discussion, I finally convinced my husband that it was the right time to start having kids. Just a few months in, I was pregnant! Took a test the next day to triple confirm, as most new moms do, and it was negative. I had had a chemical pregnancy, where something doesn't stick and you quickly lose it but it's not quite a miscarriage because of how early it is. Disappointing for sure but early enough where we were still optimistic.

Fast forward a couple months and I'm pregnant again, this time I confirmed it over several days with positive tests each time! Yay! We schedule an appointment with the doctor and go in a couple days later. We see a heartbeat but it's a slow one and the baby looks further behind than expected. She sends me for bloodwork and says to come back in a week for another ultrasound. What a long week that was, I felt optimistic but so nervous at the same time. At the next appointment, we see a baby that hasn't progressed much at all and an even slower heartbeat. She tells us that she doesn't think it's viable and that we will likely lose it, which we did, just a few days later. This time, things felt a little more devastating. I cried the second we walked out and wondered if we would ever have a baby like I always thought we would.

We didn't know when the miscarriage would actually happen, the doctor said it could take up to a couple weeks. To make matters worse, it unfortunately happened while my husband was away for work. My mom was filling in for me at my job that day and I was on my own. Thank God, her sweet neighbor, who is a nurse, was home and came over to be with me while it happened. She may never know how grateful I was for that. It was painful both physically and mentally and I don't know how I could have done it alone. It was over within a few hours and my husband was on the very next flight home. I cried a lot that day, a lot. I knew it was coming but it was a devastating reminder that I wasn't any closer to getting pregnant.

After the 6 week waiting period, still broken, I went to see a new doctor. We sat down and had a long talk about everything and he explained to me how common miscarriages are, how it was still less than a full year since we started, and how nothing was wrong with me. He was the doctor for me and gave me the hope and reassurance I really needed. A few months after that, another positive test. This time, I broke down in tears immediately, not necessarily happy tears, more like anxious tears. I was so afraid of heartbreak yet again, I wasn't ready for that, my heart couldn't take anymore. I called the doctor immediately and I had to wait a few painstaking weeks for my appointment since it was so early. Luckily, that first ultrasound showed everything I hoped it would, a strong heartbeat, and a tiny, little, swimming baby, clear as day. I was understandably still skeptical and the doctor, already knowing what I had been through, said "I really think this one is a keeper" and that was when it hit me, this was finally happening. Long story short, everything went smoothly after that and I had my sweet baby girl who is everything I ever dreamed of and more. And right now, I'm actually very close to giving birth to her baby sister in a few weeks.

I learned a lot from this experience. It brought my husband and I closer, it made me appreciate pregnancy and my baby even more. It made me appreciate my friends that hadn't been through it but were still there for me and gave me a newfound respect for those that had been through it. Not enough people talk about their struggles with pregnancy and going through it can really be isolating. I heard a lot of "miscarriages are so common" but that doesn't make them any easier to go through. And if they are so common, why aren't people talking about it? Talking about it really helped me a lot, even people that couldn't relate were still very supportive which helped get me through it. I encourage anyone that is struggling to stay positive, don't give up, and definitely find the right doctor for you, it can make all the difference in the world. If it's your first baby and you've been trying for a year, or if it's your second and you've been trying for 6 months, visit your doctor. It could be something simple but seeing your doctor early and getting connected to a specialist when needed is so important. 

My Fertility Navigator is a great program designed to help women and couples that may be struggling with fertility. It helps answer a lot of questions you may have and provides some support for those that need it.

Visit MyFertilityNav.com/contest  to share your infertility story or miscarriage experience for a chance to win an all-inclusive weekend getaway for two to Miraval Arizona Resort & Spa! And please, share your story by using #TalkAboutTrying on social media to help increase awareness. We need to support each other, just hearing that your not alone can sometimes be a big relief. And if that wasn't enough, for every social media post shared with #TalkAboutTrying, Ferring Pharmaceuticals will donate $1 to RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. I hope this story provides some hope and awareness.

Dress is Pink Blush Maternity